Brian

I have discovered two motivating activites: 1. Back into the 40K, 2. Cleaning up my poetry.

In regards to number one, now that I have the resources to fuel that ridiculously expensive hobby, I'm going to. I've spent the last week reading the codex, consturcting an army list, and inventing a paint scheme. Now that I've accomplished all three the only left is to collect and paint. Good times to be had for sure.

In regards to the second, I'm not sure what inspired me to do so, but I've dug up my journals and converted a number of entires into poems, so far I have 12 completed works that I'm happy with, more than enough to compile a zine and I have my plan for the zine all set out, it's just a matter of assembling it and printing it. So, I should get on that, but what first? Zine or Warhammer. Maybe both at the same time, too tempting...

Okay... I'm done being EMO, for the time being. It is a curse being extraordinarily emotional. However, emotion doesn't necessarly have to be negative, emotion is also positive, I'm quick to anger and cry with happiness. So, I started my new job, which is sweet. I am currently in the giant box store that is London, Ontario, have to go the office today and do paperwork (I love saying that). This week and next week and the week after that place me in the Muskokas, Bracebridge to be exact. I've never been there until now and man is it beautiful. When driving into the Muskokas you can tell by looking at the horizon that the air is so fresh and clean. Anyway, I like to keep my journals short and sweet unless I have something really important to say. So, back up from the underground I go to interact with the world.

Peace!

Wow! Live Journal has changed significantly to keep up with the times. Anyway, I'm graduated school now and fading out of the public eye. This may sound like the ravings of a person on the verge of suicide. Quite the opposite. It's just this whole social internet thing has me thinking about my inactivity. I guess this message is kind of like a vault, a time capsule, preserving the final thoughts of a man retreating underground. Once again, not literally, more so in the name of knowledge. Life is kind of lonely.

This semester I have 5 english courses so it is going to be a period of many bleary eyed by the night light evenings piling over pages and pages of text.

My courses suck ass, but I needed to take all of them for degree requirement purposes. My courses are: Gender in Literature, Citizenship in Literature, 18th and 19th Century Literature, Modern and Contemporary Literature (with Dionne Brand as my professor), and 20th century British Literature where we're studying two of my most favourite writers of all time: T. S. Eliot and Samuel Beckett.

The 20th Century British Literature I'm looking forward to and having the experience of Dionne Brand in person. The Gender will blow, the 18th 19th will blow, and so will the citizenship, but ah well gotta roll with the punches until they stop coming then I'm free to enter the world and work. Boy I can't wait to be working, this school shit has gotta go.

I awoke and wondered why my sleep has been so clouded.
Something then awoke in me that yet has been to named.
The thought that one as scared as I will pass to be remembered.
But, alone is must or else my pride fades away and always dies.

Because I cannot take from you. You must take from me.
You must stop and say "hello" and see how far the memories go.

They cannot take us into now. We cannot see tomorrow.
We only see that each are here beside us and in safety.
I need you. You need me. We do not die crooked trees.
Trees alone and scared to bloom beside the places we must stand.
Waiting for a friend to hold and touch and never fear.
You may reward me with a tear.
Laugh and sleep and always think happiness is near.

Now that I am in my last year of University the reality of getting a job has dawned on me. I went to a Job Fair on Wednesday. The Fair was mostly an opportunity to get the contact names and numbers of employers. 95% of the booths were looking for administrators, marketing analyists, software designers, engineers, chemists, etc., and all sorts of technical positions that I am not qualified for. However, there were three booths there for teaching English overseas, (2 for Korea, 1 for Japan). There was one booth there by Geosign which is an internet publisher that designs their own websites and produces articles on fashion, food, interior decorating, etc., and they were looking for writers and editors. The last booth I visited was a software company called OpenText that was looking for marketing writers to produce brochures and web content and things of that nature.

Teaching English oversea is something I am seriously considering right now. The package is to die for: $33 000 Canadian paid in Korean dollars, Korea has a 2% income tax rate, the company pays for your ticket to and from Korea, they pay for your lodging while in Korea, and they provide a three week paid vacation. Essentially, the only expenses that would fall on me would be transportation to and from work, hydro, internet, and food, and life is Korea is significantly cheaper than life in North America. So, I would go and teach and return sitting on about $25 000. The downside: teaching English overseas has become a popular and trendy thing to do so their application list is probably insanely long. But, there is no harm in trying.

This seems like an appropriate media to communicate with the people that matter. This is a journal entry of mine written today.

"Wasting away the hours killing bees and drinking coffee on a patio, (more like a series of tables and chairs scatttered on the sidewalk), beside a filthy street. The West is the land of wasted opportunity and privilege. Somehow the human race thrives on alcohol, tobacco, and bad food.

Yet humans are also capable of the gentlest moments where nothing else matters except each other. However, such moments are fleeting and soon we return to vulgarity."

I know it's nothing special, most of the things I write aren't, but people don't want to hear about despair so I end that thought here:

Get used to suffering. Be uncomfortable in comfortable situations. Learn to love your eternal condition. Relax. No time for relaxation. Push away what you can before it hurts you. The friendship I loathe is the friendship I can't live without. One day I will be successful. Just wait and see.

This entry is a whole lot of bitching and complaining so brace yourself.

I am an employee at the Guelph Mercury in the mailroom. Today I worked from 6:00am until 8:30pm, (14 hours and 30 minutes). The only two breaks I received were a 15 minute break at 2:30pm, (8 hours and 30 minutes into my shift), and a lunch break at 7:00pm (13 hours into my shift). Let us look at this equation; coincidentally I happen to have a copy of the Guelph Mercury's Human Resources Policy beside me to aid us in our analysis.

Violation Number One: The first part of the Policy states that "Each employee is entitled to two 15 minute breaks during a shift of 7.25 hours or more". I worked for 14.5 hours which means I should have received two 15 minute breaks. I received one 15 minute break at 2:30pm, which means that I did not receive the other 15 minute break entitled to me. Hmmmm....

Violation Number Two: The second part of the Policy states that "Each employee is entitled to a 30 minute lunch break after five hours of work". I worked for 14 hours and 30 minutes which means I should have received two 30 minute lunch breaks. I received one 30 minute lunch break at 7:00pm which means I did not receive my other 30 minute lunch break for the first 5 hours of my shift. Hmmmm....

Violation Number Three: The Labour Laws of Canada dictate that no employee can be forced to work more than 12 hours in a single day. I worked for 14 hours and 30 minutes, even if you take away the 15 minute break and the 30 minute lunch I still worked for 13 hours and 45 minutes. Hmmmm....

This isn't the first time my rights as an employee at the Guelph Mercury have been violated. In short: Boycott the Guelph Mercury for unjust treatment of labourers. Thank you!

Being insanely bored updating seems like a good idea. Work sucks... Can't wait for Hillside... Can't wait for school... And work still sucks. I have not read a single thing all summer except a small section of the Werewolf Forsaken book. Now, here's another one of my faintly artistic creations:

The simplest page
In the simplest way
Can teach a person more
Than a novel

I seek this simple page
In simple ways
To hopefully
Help another

Walk and stop
To teach the self
What life is when its quiet

For now is when
What will be then
Where life shall never end

That's all for now until I write another poem, which, by my predictions, will be many months from now at 5:00 pm.

I am updating my blog in response to a very nasty blog by Jay condemning all of the people to hell that don't update regularly. I don't update my blog because there is rarely something new for me to say. Finished my semester, looking for a job with no success, and playing Neverwinter Nights is pretty much a summary of my life at the moment.

I am firm advocater of the phrase if you don't have something important to say then don't say anything, hence my lack of blogging. In regards to my poetry, I've only ever written like 5 or 6 poems in my life, so Dr. Dre is still miles ahead of me in that department. Nonetheless, here's another one of my poems to calm Jay's frustration.

As we say in a sadened way
To seek a soulful bliss
People lay in gloomy graves
"The memories persist"

We were never cold nor hateful
We were fighting for the sun
Dying slowly, never fully,
As another moon begun

Lights mingled with a silent sky
We sought the safety of sages
Content to stay, but not remain
In rooms of fading pages